An open letter to JET Applicants

[Yellow Taxi]

Dear JET Applicant,
Let's cut to the chase. We all know that about 97% of you are applying to JET because you honestly believe that it's a path to cheap and easy pussy. In some ways this is true, but I am writing this letter to you today to say that this isn't the whole story.

You have to keep in mind that the whole Charismaman stereotype is just that -- an exaggeration of varying experiences of losers trying to get laid in Japan. Moreover, if all you really want is to have a lot of sex with Asian women, there are better and easier ways than coming all the way to Japan. I'll get to that in a moment. For now, let me clue you in on a few things.

(1) As a whole, Japanese girls are not sluts. I know... I know... I speak blasphemy, and many peopel will probably get on here claiming that their experience proves otherwise. Now, on the one hand, Japanese don't have the same Christian, guilt-laced attitude toward sex, but that doesn't mean they don't have their own social monitoring of sexual behavior. (Furthermore, it doesn't mean that, like every country, there are sluts here and there.) However, your average Japanese girl is not going ot open her legs for just anyone, especially if they are from a rural area. You can take that to the bank.

(2) These days, most Japanese girls will assume you're here for sex, even before you open your mouth and say, "hello." For every story you've heard about gaijin scoring in Japan, J-firls have heard six or seven times as many. You aren't fooling anyone with your transparent explanations of green tea, onsens, language study, or any of the other horse shit I hear from time to time. Both the men and women know why you're here. They can see the reason as it rises in your jeans... and most girls you meet will be on guard the moment you start talking.

(3) Even though Japanese people will be interested in you just because you are a foreigner, this does not mean they are interested in sex, romance, or even friendship. I can't really explain this one in such a short space. It's something you have to experience to understand.

(4) The cues back home for "I like you... let's f***" are not the same as they are here. Just this last weekend, I was at a bar with my buddy. One of the waitresses came up to him and started talking to him for about 15 minutes. She got scolded by her boss for not paying attention to the other customers, but she came back again and chatted him up later in the night for about a half an hour. She told him that she was happy that he came and that he should come back and talk to her as much as possible. So before we left, he wrote his keitai e-mail address on a piece of paper and tried to give it to her. When he did, she looked confused... Then she said she had a boyfriend and gave him back the slip of paper. Language leech? I don't know, but I have seen and experienced shit like that many times.

(5) While the Japanese aesthetic is a little different from western countries, J-girls can spot a loser from a mile away. So think about this point very carefully and be honest with yourself. Are you a loser in your own country? Are you a troll-looking hobbit who couldn't get laid in the red light district in Amsterdam? Because if you are, it won't be any different here.

(6) Japanese girls have no sexual power. I know a lot of my buddies disagree with me on this point, but think about the average J-girl. They have real sex appeal, but they think the best way to manipulate you is to be cute. This is why they just lay there like starfish when you're boning them. They have sexual power, but they don't know how to use it.

As I mentioned, my gentle readers, if all you really want to do is have sex with Asian women, there are better ways of doing so without packing up and moving to Japan. The easiest way is to get involved in your universities' ESL program. I'm not kidding. You should volunteer to tutor at the writing center or language lab where foreigners go to study or get help writing their papers.The ESL department is teeming with young Asian women, and I guarantee you they didn't pack up and move to your country just to learn English.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

Yours in truth,

Yellow Taxi

[Sloppy]

If you're a homo, you could join your university's "Gay/Lesbian Alliance' club and score some cock, or you could go straight to the source and move to San Francisco where I'm sure you'd have much more hairy man-ass to choose from.
I see a move to Japan as a yellow fever dude as being no different.

If you're a loser, and you just radiate 'loser', I can't really help you there, but otherwise you can get laid in rural areas. This man does speak some truth about chicks not being open about it, though. If you're plowing a local hottie, don't be upset when she goes through great lengths to avoid being seen in public with the local negro.

And as for the starfish, he speaks some truth there, too. But let me add that I've gone in for the slay on some starfish who evolved into pretty good humps. Sexual experience and skill can be seen as slutty, so a girl might feign ignorance when it comes to how to go about spinning around on your hog with her ankles tucked behind her ears the first few times you drill her, but after you've nailed her a handful of times, she might conveniently remember a few pages out of the old Kama Sutra playbook.

And let me lastly add a theory of mine:
While Japanese girls might not be open-minded to the idea that countries other than Japan have four seasons, they are rather open to trying and experiencing new things sexually.
Slightly more than half of Japanese girls would like to experience being pile-driven by Gary Gaijin.
However, a slight majority of this slight majority will do nothing more than entertain the idea. They won't go through with it for a number of fear-driven reasons:
Gaijin might have AIDS, the whole town might find out that Flava Flav face-f*** her thus ruining her eligibility for being married by Mr. Safety J. Salaryman who she went to high school with, your reputed huge gaijin shlong might split her from ear to ear, fear of being left broken-hearted when you eventually f*** off back to your home country and leave her high and dry, I've heard 'em all.
Your mission is to go single out this roughly <25% of Japanese girls who will f*** a gaijin, preferably the ones who never have before, as that will give a more Vikingesque feeling of rape-and-pillage satisfaction. The odds go up when you target the 29-33 year old crowd itching for marriage, but the ideal age is 22-25. This age group is perfect because:
a) they have a bit of experience and maturity, meaning they'll be less likely to fall in love in 2 seconds and want your babies than a 19 year old, but
b) they also know they have a few last years to f*** around before marriage. They might even have a tool of a Japanese boyfriend who works 80 hours a week who they know they'll end up marrying someday mostly for security, but you're part of the fun and games before that happens.

And just remember, if you're boning a smokin' hot 25 year old and suspect that she might have something on the side, that isn't how it is- YOU'RE the one on the side.

[BearsCubs4Life]

Very true about the chicks not being super easy sluts. It isn't hard if you set up the right situation (dinner date, alcohol involved, get them back to your place)

If they aren't keen on going out on a dinner date 1 on 1 then the chances of you banging them without a TON of work are slim to none. Just move on to the next one.

Also I recommend mixi.com

[Heretic]

Not all Japanese women are utter idiots, who can't distinguish between a horny scumbag and a genuinely decent guy. Some Japanese will happily and knowingly fvck the horyy gaijin scumbag, while some other Japanese will go for the genuinely decent guy. A few J-girls don't know the difference between the decent guys and the scumballs. Some Japs won't have anything to do with ANY gaijin, decent or not.

It all varies, surprisingly enough.

[Danimalcrackers]

(3) Even though Japanese people will be interested in you just because you are a foreigner, this does not mean they are interested in sex, romance, or even friendship. I can't really explain this one in such a short space. It's something you have to experience to understand.

I think many people here just want the experience of talking to and hanging out with a foreigner without actually taking the time and energy to make a real friendship of it, perhaps because we English teacher types aren't around for very long.

If I had a nickle for every time a person stopped me in the road, in a restaurant, coffee shop, etc and just wanted to chat, I'd be a rich man. We call them language leaches, but that's not always the case as many have approached me speaking Japanese. They curious about us, and sometimes there is nothing else to it. It's true that it's not always because they are interested in being friends, lovers or whatever the OP mentioned.

I belive a lot of guys mistake this kind of generic attention for romantic interest. They think the women who approach them and say that they want to talk to them mean that they are romantically interested in them, want to have sex, etc. I think, in most cases, it really is as simple was wanting to talk, to satisfy their curiosity. This, in my opinion, rarely has to do with sexual curiosity, but it's probably true in some cases.

[DearScotty]

(5) While the Japanese aesthetic is a little different from western countries, J-girls can spot a loser from a mile away. So think about this point very carefully and be honest with yourself. Are you a loser in your own country? Are you a troll-looking hobbit who couldn't get laid in the red light district in Amsterdam? Because if you are, it won't be any different here.

What Japan are you living in?? This couldn't be further from the truth. I spot so many douches with hot Japanese girls. The only reason I think these guys landed hotties is because they most rock the J-go. If the dragon ball z shirt with flame design doesn't tip these girls off to losers, then nothing will.

[chopstix]

While I agree with YellowTaxi's assessment, DearScotty also makes a valid point. I've actually heard that J-girls prefer loser-type guys because those guys are less likely to be "players" and hump and dump 'em.

Caveat: I've seen a few ugly foreigners with average j-girls, but I've never seen the legendary "ugly foreigner with hottie j-girl".

Conclusion: geektard/fatties do stand a better chance of getting a gf here. For regular guys, I think it's about the same as back home. Sometimes I think it's worse (countryside placement, language/cultural barriers, etc.). Overall, I think just being foreign is no longer enough as it may have been 10 or 20 years ago.

[Curmudgeon]

Here's another type that definitely does better here: bores. You know, people who are outgoing, have a friendly face, but when they start talking, you just want to stab yourself? Japan is a goldmine for these folks. The language barrier means that the girls you are talking to will not pick up on the fact that you are a bore very quickly. They will enjoy hearing the same stories or cliches because they are easy to understand. And since bores always want to talk about themselves and its always easier to listen to someone than to speak if you're not speaking your native language, they are the perfect partners for english leeches.

Although you probably won't think you belong to this category, if you actually do, be prepared for some good times ahead...

[elgin_j]

Slightly more than half of Japanese girls would like to experience being pile-driven by Gary Gaijin.
However, a slight majority of this slight majority will do nothing more than entertain the idea.

I'm going to have to disagree with that.

5% of Japanese girls only date foreigners.

5% of Japanese girls will never date foreigners.

The remaining 90% will date you on your merits and, rest assured, you will not be treated any differently than a local. If the girl doesn't want people to know that you are banging her then she won't want people to know that Ryuma is banging her, either.

The key, as in all countries, is to learn the language. Japanese girls are no less lazy than their counterparts in any country on Earth and if you can't hold a conversation or order them a martinin then you're not likely to hold their attention.

As with all women, the ugly, older, or smellier they are, the less discerning they are going to be when it comes to dating Bobby Ballbag from Boston who likes Gundam.

It also helps to have a slim face. Japanese chicks cream their knicks if you have a slim face.

Local customs may vary but the great game of life is very much the same.

[magsyboy loves Tori]

Dear JET Applicant,
Let's cut to the chase. We all know that about 97% of you are applying to JET because you honestly believe that it's a path to cheap and easy pussy.

Because heterosexual women don't ever apply to the JET program.

[frankdux]

It also helps to have a slim face. Japanese chicks cream their knicks if you have a slim face.

i second this motion!

just the other day a girl i was talking to on the train wanted to see my passport picture. and she commented on how fat my face looked on the picture. the picture was from 3 years ago and i was lifting weights and eating more with the goal of bulking up. and i probably weighed about 180lbs at the time. i honestly dont think my face looked fat at all, but i guess it did compared to the way it looks now and compared to japanese guys and their feminine features. since then i've deflated back to my normal skinny physique thanks to my being lazy and not going to the gym and also the japanese food. i'm probably around 160 these days.

[-Sunshine-]

Dear JET Applicant,
Let's cut to the chase. We all know that about 97% of you are applying to JET because you honestly believe that it's a path to cheap and easy pussy.

Because heterosexual women don't ever apply to the JET program.

Tori, don't be silly. Everyone knows that there are girls on the JET Program (fat, pringle-eating losers of course). But there are NO girls on the internet, so everyone who is reading this is a man.

Obviously.

[magsyboy loves Tori]

Dear JET Applicant,
Let's cut to the chase. We all know that about 97% of you are applying to JET because you honestly believe that it's a path to cheap and easy pussy.

Because heterosexual women don't ever apply to the JET program.

Tori, don't be silly. Everyone knows that there are girls on the JET Program (fat, pringle-eating losers of course). But there are NO girls on the internet, so everyone who is reading this is a man.

Obviously.

Whoops! My bad..

[katyaj]

Dude, unless they're fat, pringle-eating, LYING losers, there are actually some hot ladies on this board. Although, it is the web, and that ups the odds of encountering liars. Which is why this board appears to be crawling with casanovas, for instance.

[peter grimsdale]

Dude, unless they're fat, pringle-eating, LYING losers, there are actually some hot ladies on this board. Although, it is the web, and that ups the odds of encountering liars. Which is why this board appears to be crawling with casanovas, for instance.

dude, i think it might, like, have been a joke or whatnot?

[Quintana]

If the dragon ball z shirt with flame design doesn't tip these girls off to losers, then nothing will.

My Dragon Ball Z shirt has the ladies dripping like a dragon's nostril.

[katyaj]

dude, i think it might, like, have been a joke or whatnot?

I'd say the same to you.